Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
how drunk are you?
Several
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
