The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Randomize
