if you like me you must not know who I am
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
