Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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