I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
