I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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