the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
