I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
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