Your face is a jimmy john
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Randomize
