apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
