There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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