the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.