dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
too bad you live with your parents still
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs