Kareoke will never be a sober sport
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.