So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left