I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
