dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
