im drinking this country out of the recession.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
