There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
