I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
