You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
