Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
