Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
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i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
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Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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