we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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