Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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