Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
