My room smells like vodka and shame
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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