just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
