We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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