That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
