I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Pooping to opera.
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