There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
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This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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