My first STD was from a foam party
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
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