if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
