I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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