im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
she told me i tasted like america
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
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I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
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on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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