Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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