After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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