another moral hangover. fuck.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
