yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
