Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
