i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
