If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
