at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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