i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
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