I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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