just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
