I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
