youre lurking in front of me
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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