Me too!
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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