I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
