brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
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