So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
