no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
