I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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