I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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