i just identified you from a description of your pipe
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
So much Jack, so little girl.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
