Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
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