YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
be right there i have to get my cape
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
