Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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